what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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