take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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