I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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