talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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