We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
