i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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