Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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