You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
