i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
how drunk are you?
Several
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
