so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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