like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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