Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so let's talk penis.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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