Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
