I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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