All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
