i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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