Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
