if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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