I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
