The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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