Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
