it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
