My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
