i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
