Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
