sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
