do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
