I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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