I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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