I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
