Your face is a jimmy john
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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