I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
