weddingsv make me drug and hornr
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.