She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.