can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
