guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
