if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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