Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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