Small penises have feelings too.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
