My friends, they love my intelligence
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
