I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we made out on top of his cat.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
