she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
