she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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