why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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