my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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