i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
