Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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