shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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