I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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