the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize