yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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