found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
