We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
