I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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