TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
