I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
