My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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