yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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