i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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